Musings January 3, 2021

2021 Let’s gooooo

It’s that time of the year where I finally stop procrastinating and start writing my annual blog post. Now, I know I’m a few days late in the game since you’ve probably already seen everyone’s New Year’s resolutions/social posts…BUT WHAT CAN I DO. I spent New Year’s Eve eating takeout sushi (because we didn’t realize the meal we wanted to cook had a “marinate the meat for a day” step in the recipe), playing Exploding Kittens, and then raving by myself to a free Kpop concert on Youtube at 2:30AM. How did I get myself to the point of dancing by myself? Well being the terrible planner that I am, I decided to pop that ice cuvée at 11:30PM so I only felt that drunk fun feeling at 2AM.

Evidently that lead to a small hangover on the first day of 2021, so I had no energy to post anything. Then on the 2nd of January, I decided to tidy up my life, think a bit, and reflect on the last year with YearCo mpass – a free booklet that helps you self-reflect on your past year and get ready for the next.

And now on January 3rd, 2020 – I’m finally sitting down with my laptop, writing this post.

Looking Back

2020 was a difficult year for many of us. So I’m very grateful that my family and friends are safe and healthy. After completing my YearCompass I realized that despite thinking all I’ve done this year is slowly lose my sanity in a glass box, I’ve actually done some things. So here’s a peek into my past year.

After years of people suggesting I try stand up and years of me telling myself I would try, I finally signed up for a stand up class at Second City and performed my first set. Maybe it’s cause I was a fairly academic child, but I needed this class to help me start writing. Getting homework as an adult is thrilling, because it gives you something to do during the week instead of just scrolling TikTok and wondering how old everyone on the app is.
I finally graduated from my advertising program and entered the advertising industry. It was only 2 years/4 blog posts ago that I wrote about quitting auditing so that I could become a creative in advertising and now here I am. It’s been a journey but I’m happy with here I’m at. Disclaimer: I’m still not fully recovered from my quarter life crisis but like when am I ever fully ok. (IZ OK TO NOT BE OK)
Being an extrovert, at times I’ve felt quite isolated and lonely during the lockdown. Having moved to Toronto 2 years ago and being in school for most of it, I never really had time to explore Toronto or make friends here. Don’t get me wrong I have great friends here, but I still relied heavily on my friends in Montreal because we were able to visit each other so often. So, not being able to see them has definitely made me feel lonely at times. But, I’m happy that with social media and technology, I’ve been able to stay connected. I’ve also taken a few walks with some pals to get some socialization in and some fresh air, not exactly the ratchet type of behaviour I enjoy but maybe this is a sign that wittle Shirley is growing up.

Overall, I kinda felt like I was in limbo last year. I spent it putting off things I wanted to do because of the uncertainty of the world. But, I’ve learned to go easy on myself (maybe a bit tooooooo easy – like binging kdramas one after the other cause I have zero self control). It hasn’t been the easiest time, but I’m very fortunate to be safe and healthy. And, I’m grateful to have people I can lean on.

Looking forward

So now that we’ve entered season 2 of everyone’s sourdough adventures on instagram aka 2021, what are some things that I want to do this year. Well, first off, Osheaga 2021, I mean the headliners are already out, that must mean it’s happening right???? JUST KIDDING.

I need to make more of an effort to hang out virtually with my friends. Instead of staying in a state of isolation, I’m going to satisfy my socialization needs by reaching out to friends and catching up with them. My ubereats delivery guys are really getting annoyed at my efforts of keeping our convos going.
I really need to stop procrastinating. I know I love writing, whether it’s this blog, or new stand up material, but I always put it off. It’s probably cause I’m scared of failure!!! And how can you fail at something if you don’t even do it! Or does that mean you’ve just automatically failed. hmmmmm… So, 2021 Shirley please write more and stop being a little procrastinating bitch. Thanks.
I want to start youtubing or doing some type of content creation. With no in person open mics, how will I spread my joys and funnies. I’ve always dabbled with the idea of starting a Youtube, but if you’ve learnt anything about me this whole post it’s that I’m a procrastinator, so I’ve never started. See point above, I’m not trying to be a procrastinator anymore so if not now then when???? If you guys have any ideas on content please send me a message. I suck at makeup and wear the same sweater over and over again so I’m pretty sure the beauty and fashion niche aren’t for me.

Of course, be hot is on my to do list, but that’s a given, that’s basically on my to do list every day of my life. So to my dearest self, get that bag, get those fake lashes, do Chloe Ting and get that booty, fulfill all your dreams of being an ABG. I believe in you/me.

Now to end this on a more serious note, in the YearCompass booklet it asks you to pick a word to symbolize and define the year ahead and the word I picked was “Do”. I put off doing because I fear. What do I fear? Probably failure, judgement, rejection, etc. Well FUCK IT. I need to stop fearing and just start doing.

Happy New Years everyone!!!

Musings October 26, 2020

Been a minute…or a full 1.5 years

I would say that this post is my warmup before the actual workout. I’ve been wanting to write again for the longest time and in true Shirley fashion I kept putting it off. Why have I been putting it off? Well I would say it’s a mix of probably contradicting reasons.

Too busy living my life (but like…really I’ve been fantasizing about my affair with a kpop star instead of actually sliding into their DMs)
Not prioritizing this blog, because I constantly put it on my to-do list but always after everything else that’s SO IMPORTANT (not) in my life so I never get to it
Not knowing what to write about
Putting that extra pressure on writing, you know that type of pressure you put on yourself that overwhelms you and you just spend the time you could be doing what you want laying down numb instead.
And, instead of actually writing I’ve spent my time thinking of writing

I’ve realized that I keep putting things off because I want the outcome to be perfect, I want the outcome to be exactly how I imagine it. But that means knowing what the outcome is and since I don’t know the outcome, I have to set aside time to figure it out. So I keep planning and planning and then I never get anything done. So, in the end what’s my problem? I’m a writer who wants to write but doesn’t. Tragic (note that this is said in a sarcastic tone, I am definitely not serious about that being tragic).

What I’ve come to realize is that if I don’t just start typing, I’ll always be thinking about writing instead of writing. So here I am writing about writing – my warmup to the actual workout.

And usually I enjoy sharing my thoughts with others by publicizing that I’ve written something on other platforms, but this time I’m not going to. This little post is for me <3. For me to just start writing again.

So if you find this, sorry you had to read through my stream of conscious. ILU.

Travel March 25, 2019

Live from Toronto, It’s my SNL post

Every time I blog on Rice Whine, I always have the urge to start with a greeting. I think it’s cause of my lack of consistency blogging here (something that I should work on). Every time I blog, it’s like I’m introducing myself to the world again. Like hullo friends, it’s me…again…like that Adele song but less eloquent.

So, all that to say.

Greetings!

A little over a month ago, I had the once (or maybe more than once WHO KNOWS) in a lifetime opportunity of seeing Saturday Night Live…LIVE. In this post I’ll go through the process of getting the tickets and my experience at Saturday Night Live. A little sneak preview…let’s just say my last name is now Baldwin. Just Kidding!

How does one get SNL tickets?

I am currently aware of 3 ways to cop some SNL tickets.

Lottery system
Stand-by line
Know people who works at SNL or know the celebrity host/musical act

My method of entry was the lottery system. Every year during the month of August the lottery system for SNL opens. All you need to do is e-mail Snltickets@nbcuni.com why you would like to be a part of their studio audience. You must be 16 or older to enter and if you win they’ll give you 2 tickets for a random show and date. Note that you can only submit during that window of time. So when August comes along please check the following website to make sure that the instructions for that year are still the same:
https://www.nbc.com/tickets/pages/tickets-and-nbc-studio-tour

I’m honestly not too sure if they read your reason or not or whether they just pick randomly based on people who have entered. Regardless, here is a direct copy paste of my e-mail to them. Please ignore the bad grammar…I was in a rush writing this I SWEAR.

Hi SNL tickets,

I would like to be in the audience of SNL because I have a great laugh that would definitely increase the views for SNL. Just kidding! I love SNL. Even though I’m not from New York something about SNL just makes me feel at home, maybe it’s because of how long it’s been on air, maybe it’s because I just feel like all the cast members are my best friends even though they don’t know me. Regardless the reason I would be honoured to win some tickets.

Thank you so much,

Shirley

So there you have it folks a winning SNL lottery entry.

Moving onto the other methods, I’ve never done the stand-by line but basically they’ll give tickets out at 7AM that Saturday. Based on my internet research, a lot of people start lining up the night before depending on who the act is. According to the NBC website, getting a stand-by ticket does not guarantee admission. So fingers crossed for all of you going with this method.

Lastly, knowing somebody. Well it’s as simple as that go schmooze with some peeps and get yourself tickets.

How did I find out I won the lottery?

I received an e-mail January 31, 2019 telling me I had won tickets. I was shocked of course. According to Reddit the chances of winning is 1/10,000. Honestly, not sure where that number came from cause I could not find another source for it but I definitely felt special. I audited the e-mail URL and all that jazz to make sure I wasn’t being scammed by a Nigerian Prince. They were legit! I got 2 tickets to see the February 16, 2019 show. At this point we had no idea who the host and musical guest was, but I mean it’s SNL how bad can it get. (We got Don Cheadle and Gary Clark Jr…not bad not bad.)

After a bit of pondering aka looking at flight and hotel prices. With a discounted ticket price through a layover, my boyfriend and I booked out trip so I could fulfill my dream of watching SNL.

What happens the day of the show?

Depending on what showing you’re going to you have to get there at different times. One can get tickets to the live show and the dress rehearsal. We got live show tickets and had to show up no later than 10:15PM. We got there at about 9:45 and let me tell you I don’t know what sort of manifestation I did that day but we got there at the perfect time. cliffhanger moment.

When we got to NBC studios, we asked for “Jen’s Line”. There were two lines waiting for tickets. I presume this is the line for those who have tickets through the lottery system. Once we got to the ticketing table. They handed us our yellow SNL tickets along with a purple bracelet.

This purple bracelet is key to my cliffhanger moment. Once you’ve got your ticket you go through security. I noticed that there were pictures of banned individual taped to the metal detector. I asked the security how you get your face up there, he said, “probably stalkers.” That makes sense…that makes a lot of sense. After all that security, you land in a waiting room with screens showing past acts and stars who have been on the show.

The TV screen that everybody took a picture with before going through security

When time comes, you’re called by your bracelet colour. We were the first colour to be called. We took the elevator up and it ends up we got STUDIO FLOOR TICKETS. Most people end up on the balcony watching the sets below but we were on the floor with the sets. I don’t know where Mercury was that day or what my third eye saw that got me this, but I am eternally grateful to the universe and all its spiritual forces. If we came at any other time we probably wouldn’t have gotten lucky with these seats.

As you’re waiting there, the staff starts to give you instructions:

PEE NOW, you will not be able to leave the studio once you enter. I mean you will be allowed to leave, but you probably won’t be able to come back in.
NO PICTURES. Beyond this point, the minute we started to wait in line, we were barred from taking pics.

Let me tell you a lot happened while we were in line. By a lot I mean our line was next to Alec Baldwin’s changing room, so we were literally standing like 5 meters away from him. I couldn’t exactly smell him, but his presence was really felt.

Finally the clock struck 11. We were let into the studio. Before the actual live show starts, to warm the audience up, the audience gets two little shows. One is Kenan Thompson singing with the SNL gals. The other is Michael Che doing a bit of standup. Quite a funny guy. My bae got picked on during this set. Che asked who came from far away and my boyfriend raised his hand and yelled, “Toronto!” Che replied, “that’s not far, you take the D train past the Bronx and you get to Toronto.” lolled.

Once 11:30 hit the show went live, Alec Baldwin descended on stage as Donald Trump and the magic began.

Notable memories from the show:

It felt like a football game with the constant yelling of, “STANDBY 40 SECONDS” and everyone scrambling around.
Cast members and the host are lint rolled to the last second.
There were people that grabbed onto the cast/host between scenes so that they could run out of there to change.
ScarJo was there supporting her boo Colin Jost. I turned around in my seat and made eye contact with her, then I turned around after like 10 seconds cause, “celebrities are humans too.”
At one point, I had to get out of my seat and stand on the side because the cameraman had to use that space. During this time I was standing next to Alec Baldwin but with space for Jesus between us.
There was a handsome cue card holder holding all the lines on physical boards. This guy definitely is trying to break into modelling because he was too tall, dark, and handsome. It was fun watching him read the lines as the cast were saying them and then flipping the cards on time.
Lorne Michaels.

I even made it on TV!

The night was filled with emotional tears of joy and laughter, and it ended with me buying memorabilia aka an SNL pillow.

So this coming August, make sure to enter into the lottery. You may not win, but just keep doing it. When you get it, drop everything and GO. Watching it now on TV, I have such a greater understanding of the hard work that goes into the show and it’s really deepened my appreciation for the cast, the writers, and how great they are at their craft.

Hopefully next time I go to the studio it’s as a cast member, a writer, a host, a musical guest, or a cue card holder. Till then, I’ll always have these memories. (*′☉.̫☉)

Musings January 18, 2019

New Year, Similar Me

Hello world. again.

So it’s been about 3.5 months since I first started this blog and first posted. Well…this is awkward isn’t it? I started a blog announcing my new life/new me, but then I kind of just abandoned it.

My dearest Rice Whine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not maintaining you and feeding you with content. I’m sorry to those few readers who were kind of excited to see what I would post next (which never came till now). Most of all, I want to apologize to myself. In not updating this blog and writing out my thoughts and goals, I let myself down. I constantly put blogging on my to do list, but I never checked it off and just left it there. This made me feel very unsettled because everyday it felt like I hadn’t accomplished what I had set out to do. I just kept pushing it back but today I just told myself, “bitch no more of this.” (after watching Riverdale and my 3rd depression nap)

So….what better way to try to get back on track than to write a New Years blog (17 days later)?

I thought I’d revive my blog by just talking about some things that were always on my to do list, like blogging, that I just never got to. As you can tell I’m somebody who likes to write to do lists, not somebody who’s particularly good at finishing to do lists though. However, I heard from from a little birdie (~cough~ The Secret ~cough~), that in order to get what you want, you need to let the universe know, so that the universe can manifest it for you.

A list of Shirley’s Goals (in no particular order)

Create more content because I find myself the happiest when I’ve created something. This includes:
- Blogging for RiceWhine
- Blogging for mybadideas.com
- Posting on social a little more. I used to post a lot of ~excuse my language~ shit on instagram but then I just kind of stopped. I’m not too sure why, maybe influencers overtook my feed and I was just like okay (￣︿￣) I guess my pictures aren’t actually nice . I think that in a digital age, our social accounts are in a way an extension of ourselves. I’d like to share more of me, put myself out there, be vulnerable in what I create, and not care too much about it. Gnome sayin’?
- Vlogging/Podcast – I’ve always wanted to start vlogging just cause I like talking and the sound of my voice (am I a narcissist? ~gasp~). I’ve just had trouble starting and maintaining youtube. I think vlogging is an even more vulnerable outlet. You’re talking into a camera, but really you’re talking to somebody on the other side. I guess all it takes is just to try it once?
Learn Spanish (hola is this not the most caliente language ever???)
Learn basic coding – HTML/CSS – Just think about it, one day your kid is going to come up to you and be like, “yo ma, help me with this code.” You’ll just be like, “kid, I’m dumb.” In all honestly in such a tech-driven, digital world, it may be useful to just know a little code so I can maybe survive a robot apocalypse?
Try stand up comedy – Many people (wow am I full of myself?…”many people” ~scoff~ ) have occasionally mentioned that I should try stand up. This year I’d like to sign up and try a Second City stand up class. I think it’d be funny right? I mean I can already picture myself on stage, hand holding a mic, legs shaking, pee starting to drip down my inner thigh…WAIT THIS DOESN’T SOUND FUN.
Look like a hot instagram thot – I know I KNOWWWW I should love myself and practice self love, but this is just a part of my self-deprecating persona. Of course I’d like to be healthy by eating healthy and working out, BUT I MEAN there is a little part of me (BIG PART OF ME) that wouldn’t mind posting pics of my abs à la Kendall Jenner through a mirror selfie. No but in all honesty, I haven’t been treating my body the best in the last few years. If my dad can go running and to the gym every day, what do I as someone in my 20s really have as an excuse to not be healthy? CLOGGED ARTERIES AREN’T COOL GUYS. #Hotfor2019. I also try my best not to be too negative when it comes to looks or to constantly compare myself to others. Instead the way I think of it is, if you want to look like that, “You better work bitch.” So yes you can find me at the gym doing Strong Curves trying to get a booty.

The Queen speaking the truth

Do more of what makes me happy – You know those moments where you do something and you’re like, “wow I’m happy, this is something I like doing.”? I get those moments usually after hanging out with people love and doing things I love. This usually ends up being exploring coffee shops, trying new restaurants, and browsing random stores and art galleries on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I just haven’t done that in awhile, but each time I do, it it makes me happy. So it’s a simple and logical goal that is sometimes put on the back burner. This leads to my next goal…
Discovering more of Toronto – In Montreal, I had routines. After work, I’d go to the SAQ, pick up a bottle of wine, invite an unsuspecting friend over, and cook for them. Friday nights, you could find me in the old port in a boogie club, trying to be my best r@v3r g!rl at New City Gas, or shamelessly dancing at Newspeak. Sundays were reserved for brunch, cafés, the Mile End, and roaming the Plateau. I miss these routines and thus I’d love to discover more of Toronto so that I can create new routines here that maybe, someday…when I’m living in my artist loft filled with plants in Brooklyn, I’ll also say I miss.

Now in terms of school, as some of you may or may not know, I’m back at schoo0o0o0o0ol, I also have some goals:

Be on top of my work – We take 4 classes a quarter. It may not seem much but sometimes with projects, work can really pile up. Because there are only 4 classes, sometimes I feel like I just push my work to be done closer to when it’s due. The problem with is, like not finishing a to do list, the work still lingers in the air when it’s not done. Mentally this prevents me from working on other things that I would like to do like aprendiendo español.
Read 3 advertising books – Pretty clear and simple. I just want to absorb more knowledge about the industry that I’m entering.
Pick between copy or art – I signed up for this program as a copywriter, but now I’m really attracted to art direction. My goal is to hone in on one of these crafts, instead of dangling between both.

As always, I want to live with intention. I’m not down to spend my whole life watching Netflix and taking depression naps when I feel overwhelmed. I admit sometimes those moments are very much needed for one’s wellbeing, but in the end I just want to spend this year doing more of what makes me happy. Simple as that.

Wow…that felt good writing all this out. So if you were able to make it to the bottom of this post. Congratulations!!! Let’s be friends (but like actually plz this is my cry for help/friends)! Let me know if you have any resources or inspiration that could help me with my goals, it would be much appreciated.ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Musings September 30, 2018

New Blog, New Me

Welcome to take 2340981 of me starting another blog

As many of you already know I’ve decided to pack up my life in Montreal and move to the city of Drake, the Raptors, and 6Dad, Norm Kelly. I’ve officially moved to Toronto.

What am I doing here?

Well my dear friends, I have decided to pursue my dreams of going into advertising and have thus decided to return to school and will be working on my advertising portfolio with the help of Miami Ad School.

But Shirley didn’t you just get your CPA?

After long hours of public accounting, countless hours of studying for the CFE, I do in fact have my CPA title.

So how exactly did I get to this point in my life where I’m making a career switch?

“It’s actually a long story, I don’t want to bore you with it,” I said shyly to the handsome stranger.

“Well I just missed my connecting flight and the next flight is tomorrow morning. You could say I’ve got a lot of time for you,” he said coyly with a wink.

“Well before I tell you all of this, could I at least get your name?” I blushed as those words came out of my mouth. My, oh my, I’ve never been that forward before.

The beautiful stranger replied, “It’s Timothée, Timothée Chalamet.”

OK NOW that we’ve got my Timothée Chalamet obsession out of the bag. Let’s get on with the real juice.

My whole life I followed the safe path and made calculated choices that allowed me to stray slightly from being a perfect Asian daughter. For example, I had to play an hour of piano everyday but would start to play at 4:15 and end at 5:00. This calculated decision allowed me to play for 45 minutes but based on the timing of the end it kinda felt like I played an hour to my parents.

When I was in cegep I studied health sciences but I always had an itch to go into advertising so when it came time to apply to university I chose to study management. In my head I thought, “well I didn’t become a doctor or a lawyer, business has some type of math right?” I mean I don’t think my parents would have allowed me to study arts at the age of 18. Management would be the next choice that my parents would not get a heart attack over.

Early on in my university career, I got a job offer in accounting and instead of choosing my own destiny I let this job offer dictate my major and career. I studied accounting and I justified that accounting was a technical skill and that I could still go into advertising after university because I felt it was more of an intuitive career. Fast forward to now I’ve worked 3 years in audit and have obtained my CPA, but I never entered advertising like I thought I would.

If you’ve ever been in a room of accountants, especially auditors, you’ll realize that we’re some of the most self loathing individuals. We love complaining about ourselves. Imagine working long hours complaining about it, but then your friend starts bragging about their longer hours. Like girlllll, what is there to brag about!?!?! Behind the complaining though, there are many us that do like our jobs but we still complain. I don’t want to be that person who’s in a profession they’ve chosen but complains about this choice. Don’t get me wrong there are many things I love about audit. I love the people I worked with, the mentorship I received, and the fact that you’re constantly learning. As a true millennial though, I felt like the passion just wasn’t there.

We make it seem like one decision dictates our whole life. Maybe I’m a late bloomer but when I was 18 deciding my future, did I really know what future me wanted? I didn’t. At that age I was too busy thinking about boys, trying to fit in, and pretending that I was an adult. Funny thing is I probably made more adult choices at 18 than now. At the tender age of 25, which was the age my mother got married, I still feel like a kid.

I believe that life is just a series of actions and of choices that we make. You make a decision based on the information you have at that moment, if down the line you realize that the outcome wasn’t as you’d hoped for, you go on and make another decision to steer you into the right direction. Life should be that simple, but we overcomplicate things because if you’re anything like me you overthink every little decision you make. You try to find the answer that has the least consequences, but what is life if we’re not constantly learning from our choices.

The moment I stepped into the “real world”, I started to experience my quarter life crisis. My life felt like a movie that I was watching but I was not directing it; I had no control over the plot. That’s a terrible feeling. I’m someone who wants to feel in control of my destiny, somebody who is able to curate their life and not just sit there and be like “UGH why isn’t this me? When am I going to make it? etc.”

My biggest goal in life is to live life with intention.

So instead of being a bystander in my own life I made the active decision of going into advertising. Now here I am at this point in my life where I’m starting new at 25. And Hey! if it doesn’t work out, well when I get to that fork in the road, I’ll just make another decision.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Now finally, why this new blog?

Many of you may know of my old blog that I share with my dear friend, Jenny, saumignon, which hasn’t been updated since 2017. This blog kind of lost its way and who knows maybe Jenny and I will revive it some day. Others may know of my punny blog, mybadideas, but this blog is focused on my bad ideas.

I started a new blog in a way to signify a new beginning for myself, to shed my old self. If I’m starting again IRL, then it’s only fitting that I should start anew URL. My goal with this blog is to share my journey of self growth and to just blog about my millennial mishaps. Think of me as your friend that you met during your high school days on a fan forum.

Shirley