I would say that this post is my warmup before the actual workout. I’ve been wanting to write again for the longest time and in true Shirley fashion I kept putting it off. Why have I been putting it off? Well I would say it’s a mix of probably contradicting reasons.
- Too busy living my life (but like…really I’ve been fantasizing about my affair with a kpop star instead of actually sliding into their DMs)
- Not prioritizing this blog, because I constantly put it on my to-do list but always after everything else that’s SO IMPORTANT (not) in my life so I never get to it
- Not knowing what to write about
- Putting that extra pressure on writing, you know that type of pressure you put on yourself that overwhelms you and you just spend the time you could be doing what you want laying down numb instead.
- And, instead of actually writing I’ve spent my time thinking of writing
I’ve realized that I keep putting things off because I want the outcome to be perfect, I want the outcome to be exactly how I imagine it. But that means knowing what the outcome is and since I don’t know the outcome, I have to set aside time to figure it out. So I keep planning and planning and then I never get anything done. So, in the end what’s my problem? I’m a writer who wants to write but doesn’t. Tragic (note that this is said in a sarcastic tone, I am definitely not serious about that being tragic).
What I’ve come to realize is that if I don’t just start typing, I’ll always be thinking about writing instead of writing. So here I am writing about writing – my warmup to the actual workout.
And usually I enjoy sharing my thoughts with others by publicizing that I’ve written something on other platforms, but this time I’m not going to. This little post is for me <3. For me to just start writing again.
So if you find this, sorry you had to read through my stream of conscious. ILU.